It's me, Mandy

Thank you all, for helping a scared, stressed, troubled boy make sense of the world at a time when he needed receptive ears the most, at times when he had the most fear.

Thank you for saving his life countless times, thank you for accepting him, alter egos and all.

Thank you, just for being comfortable with his vulnerability, thank you for being a part of his recovery from what was quite a big mental tumble.

He’s not cured, he’s not fixed. People don’t work like that. But he’s better. Much better.

He doesn’t need me anymore, which means that this is goodbye to some of you. Your paths may cross again, he hopes that they do.

He wants you to know though that he appreciated every little gesture, and every new friend and old friend he has here.

Finally, as Mandy, I would like to express what a pleasure it has been to be allowed to inhabit this space. I was born out of self defence, a mechanism for survival, questioning, protection and insulation against some of the harshness of the world- and I loved living and dreaming here.

I hope he learned a lot from this experience, and I hope that maybe some of you learned much too. My purpose was always to inspire learning, so that cubs and kittens could grow to fend for themselves, learning who to trust and how to rely on each other.

I have been Mandy,

You have been beautiful,

Peace, love and euphoria- always,

~

all at once, and without good reason-

the world is colourless

and colourful, stereoscopic, zoetropic-

the trees appear as imagined, with as many indefinite number of branches,

rather than as seen, present entirely and attentive.

Fixed.

Only those pumped into my imagination, artificially dripped through that line in-

Into the brain directly. Those are here. Those are present, heard considered, here and correct.

Fixed in two spots, more than two, duplicitous, multiplicitous experience of life.

It’s no way to live, but it’s the way we’re livin’.